BernadetteMcCann House: What Is Abuse?

Abuse is any behaviour or action used to control, intimidate, threaten, or injure another person. It is a misuse of power which uses the bonds of intimacy, trust and dependency to make the victim vulnerable. Abuse is manipulating this power imbalance for the purpose of controlling the behaviors, actions, thoughts or feelings of the other person.

Abuse may be a single act of violence, or it may include a number of acts that could appear minor when viewed in isolation, but collectively form a pattern that amounts to abuse.

Abuse is typically cyclical in nature, escalating in severity and frequency over time.

Warning Signs To Look ForWhen Someone is Experiencing Abuse

• Tardiness or unexplained absences on a consistent basis

• Change in behavior, appearance, withdrawn/quiet

• Inappropriate clothing for the season

• Emotional outbursts or expression of fear

• Frequent calls from partner, often checking up on partner

• Unexplained bruising or marks on person

• Unable to focus, easily startled

• Isolated from family & friends

• Unhealthy coping mechanisms (use of substances)

PeopleWho Are Experiencing Abuse Need To Know

• They are not alone

• They are believed

• This is not their fault

• You care

• You want to help

Remember, people are the experts in their own situations. Build a rapport of trust, offer a non-judgemental approach and a safe place for them to open up. Really hear what they need.

Suggestions To Increase Safety atWorkplace

• Ask questions about their situation and how you can help. Listen!

• Ask for a photo of the abuser so others can be aware when they are on the premises

• Have the person park close to the entrance and have security available if possible. If not, arrange for someone to walk the person to and from the building

• Screen person’s calls/emails/texts if possible and save all messages

• Have person change their route to work, church, home etc.

• Identify an emergency contact and person/vehicle description of person, should they not show up for events or be unable to reach

• Identify a code word with person so police are to be notified if word is used

• Keep a copy of person’s safety plan in the office and review it regularly

• Remind all staff not to give out any personal information about anyone

• If there is a restraining order in place, retain a copy for office and see about adding other places to the order

• Regularly check in with person to see if anything has changed or how they are doing

• Provide person with a list of resources including what options might be available

• Allow person to access supports at anytime(phone call to a crisis line, counselling appt etc.)

• Have person keep an emergency bag at a safe place. Items to include: copies of ID, income tax, birth certificates, property deed/mortgage, keys, banking info, extra $, passports, marriage certificate, computer devices, extra clothing, credit cards

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, contact Bernadette McCann House at 613-732-3131, or text at 613-639-1233 or email at help@wsssbmh.org.

Furthermore, if you would like to learn more about this topic or topics like it, Bernadette McCann House can provide a presentation or training to your place of work or organization. Please call

613-732-7776 to make arrangements.

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