LADIES SUPPER CLUB MEMBERSHIP BALLOONS AFTER PANDEMIC

Upset she hadn't made friends, even a year-and-a-half after moving here with her family in 2017, Alexis Gada posted a note on the

Newmarket: What's Happening Facebook page.

"Once upon a time" women would gather at each others' homes, but how were women making friends these days? she lamented.

Gada put a call out on Facebook asking women if they'd like to meet occasionally for dinner.

Surprised by the positive response, she launched the Ladies Supper Club. Initially starting with hopes of attracting a dozen women, Gada soon had 120 women on board.

Coming out of the pandemic, numbers exploded to about 600 as the importance of connection has

magnified, Gada said.

Most dinners are at Newmarket and Aurora restaurants, but meals have also been held at Georgina, East Gwillimbury and Bradford eateries.

Events are expanding to include paint nights, movie outings and possibly preparing a meal for Inn From the Cold. Member Patsy Hawke organizes the annual holiday event. The one in December raised 226 pounds of food and more than $1,700 for the Newmarket Food Pantry.

Members are urged to organize events through the Facebook page.

"Social well-being is something that is really important to me," Gada said.

"It can be really depressing (not having friendships). And coming out of COVID, a lot of people are suffering from depression now and that social wellbeing piece is really important. One of my favourite things about the group is that it's women of all ages and stages."

It's amazing to see the club act as a launching pad for friendships, Hawke said. "I know a lot of women have formed friendships from being out at the events and now they are doing things on their own as well," she said.

Women, especially, are prone to letting friendships lapse as they prioritize raising children, buying into society's notion they aren't good mothers if they don't always put their kids' needs first, Newmarket life coach Carolyn Rusin said.

"However, this isn't correct. But it certainly explains why I have so many clients in their 40s, 50s and 60s who are going through divorces right now. By prioritizing their children first, they have neglected their marriage and themselves," said Rusin, who is running Where is my Joy? at facebook.com/ groups/796374167847733.

"Part of looking after oneself is nurturing friendships outside of your family dynamic. I find both women and men fall into opposite extremes of this. Either they have solid friendships that they can count on, or they neglected friendships along the way as they focused on their families. Creating new friendships in adulthood can be challenging for many people."

Rusin urges clients to meet new people in person through clubs and teams. "We now live in a society that is so connected through technology and yet many people experience so extreme loneliness. One way of adding more joy to your life is making meaningful connections," she said.

Bradford life coach Jen

nifer Febel, agrees that adults put their friendships aside as they navigate romantic relationships and kids.

"Too often women will abandon their own needs in favour of the needs of their partner and/or kids, and this includes the need for connection and friendship," she added, urging people to create friendships by joining activities.

Social isolation during the pandemic reminded us of the importance of meaningful relationships outside our families, Febel said.

"I think men have a slightly easier time as they naturally tend to join organizations that foster friendship (such as) sports leagues, whereas women have a fear that thinking of

their own needs somehow makes them selfish or 'bad people,'" she said.

"Women have been taught to define their identity by the success of their spouse/partner and/or kids. That leaves them very vulnerable to feelings of isolation and loneliness, especially as the kids get older. But the actual act of making friends as we get older is pretty easy — we just need to change our mindset about it."

STORY BEHIND THE STORY: As a fairly new member of the club and surprised to meet many other new members, reporter Lisa Queen explored the importance of adult friendships, especially coming out of the pandemic.